Love & Happiness

"Love is patient and kind; Love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" [New Testament, I Corinthians 13:4-7].

I began this blog with one of my favorite scriptures in the Bible, because it lays the foundation for the way I feel at this moment and what I am going to convey in today's entry.

Yesterday, was GOOD FRIDAY!!! Praise God. And for me, it truly was that. Work was mellow. Customer's were not complaining. The office environment was just right. Had some laughs with co-workers. Went to Target and Walmart and was able to make it from lunch all within an hour. Yesterday, truly was a good day. I love passover, and the Easter season. Or what I and other Christian's know it as, Resurrection Sunday.

I believe that service will be awesome, and awe inspiring. I truly love my church and my church family. Of course, there is good, bad and indifferent. But the Holy Spirit truly does work and spread throughout the building. We have members who truly love the Lord and you see it manifest in the natural. I am a growing in my Christian walk everyday. God knows when to truly pull the reigns in on me. I thank Him for His favor.

Not everyone may know but, I did not have to go to church growing up. I went with different family members. Knew of God. But didn't have that I was raised in the church since birth experience. So today, when I attend church. I know it is only because of the Grace of God. Because I could have been bond and caught up in the generational curses that plague my family. But yet, God saw fit to not allow me to go through certain things. I thank God for letting me learn through others experiences. And that the experiences I do go through are for the greater God.

God saved my life on more than one occasion. As a pre-teen, I was very high strung. Mouthy, and really didn't care to much about not getting my point across. I have always had a respect for my elders. And I think is was that fear of what would happen if I went to far with the words in which I spoke. Now as I grow older, I know that I do not have to say everything that comes across my mind. That I can sit in silence. Silence is sometimes more deadly than words.

My facial expressions are what I need to work on now. Because sometimes they are mis-interpreted for more than what they are. Sometimes, I just do not have anything to say, or just simply do not want to be bothered. Its a emotional thing. I wear my emotions on my sleeves.

Friends and family know that about me. People who are trying to figure me out do not quite understand and that's ok. I mean truly, I know the purpose in which I was placed on this earth. God knew what He was doing when He allowed my mother and father to come together and create me. I use to think my birth was a mistake, or that I was assigned to the wrong family. But as I grow and learn, and love who I am. I know all of which is not true. I truly can say that I love my family and that I am happy that I was born into the family that I was. Crazy how certain circumstances make you appreciate what and who you are.

So as Resurrection Sunday is drawing near, I thought of God's love to the church. And how He spoke to the Corinthians. And how God wants us to love one another. One thing I love to say is, love should not hurt. I can like a lot things and people. But the one's I love. I hold near and true.

I have been hurt before. Actually, two times. Once when I was 17 and the other when I was 24. Something about that seven year gap huh. But in that hurt, I ask myself, what did God keep me from. And what He kept me from is that pain that comes with loving someone who does not understand what it truly means to love. And trust me, in both situations, I thought and believed that I was in love. But then when I looked back, I realized, if I believed what I said about love not hurting than all I can do is Praise God for His LOVE. Because He understood me, and He heard my cries. And He did not want me to allow myself to go so far in which I became bitter about love. Because I love, love. Love is unconditional, and it does not fade away. In loving love, I have learned to forgive. So for the two people whom I felt hurt me, I let go, and I thank God for the experiences. Because it made me understand who I was as a person. It taught me to not give my heart away to anyone. It taught me that foundations have to be set, and rooted in something greater than myself. And so I have made up in my mind, heart and spirit, that the next person I love. Will be worth it. That I will not give of myself so much that I loose the source in which love abides, which is God. Because in all my hurt, I lost time.

I just went on a tangent. I wasn't even suppose to go down that path, but the spirit lead you where you ought to go. I conclude by saying, I am a work in progress. I will come full circle. And I know that when my task on earth is done, God will welcome me in and say, well done.

Blessings,
C

P.S. Do not forget to pray, and to love yourself enough to love someone else.